Do you feel secure in your relationship? A new relationship? Or even long-term relatiionship? Chances are, if you are reading this post, you don’t feel secure in a relationship. I can relate as this would have been me a few years back. It can be stressful to wonder if a date is going to be followed by another date, if a phone call is going to be followed by another phone call, and so on. Feeling secure early on in a relationship is going to make it easier for the relationship to flow. Putting your mind at ease is, therefore, a priority for you.
Three main causes of insecurities
The feeling of not being up to the man’s standards:
If you don’t feel secure in a relationship, let it be a new SP or not, it could be because your man is on a pedestal. And he is because from where you stand, he represents all you have been waiting for, he made a first great impression on you.
Considering all this you might make you feel inadequate. You may fear that the ideal man disappears from your sight. Your fears and insecurities resurface, and you become tense and on edge.
Please understand that this comes from your self-image. As you perceive yourself to not be good enough for your SP, you wish you could find ways to keep him.
Remembering past failed relationships:
You have had relationships in the past and unfortunately, they all failed.
Maybe you have learned quite a great deal from each of them, but the result is the same: you are free for another relationship.
As a result, you fear to unknowingly act in such a way that it pushes your new man away. You start dwelling on the past and become stressed out, fearing to see the past repeat itself.
The issue here is that the more you fixate on what could go wrong, guess what will happen… Not good.
You have no idea how he feels towards you:
He hasn’t volunteered much about the way he feels about you and you start doubting and overanalysing what he said. You mentally review how he behaved, his silences. And God forbid if the new SP didn’t plan for a new date. When you don’t feel secure in any relationship, it will backfire at some stage: your insecurities will get objectified. Not good.
When you wonder how your guy feels about you, it is because you don’t know about eiypo. EIYPO is Everybody is You pushed out. Here is a video with the basics to get you started:
But I understand that you might want a quick fix if you feel super anxious, so these are 10 of my tips for you to overcome your insecurities.
10 tips to overcome insecurities
Just to let you know, those are the tips I have applied myself when I used to feel insecure when in a relationship.
#1: Self-Love
Self-love is not about saying ” I love you” to yourself in front of your mirror 100 times a day, although it can help. It is about respecting yourself, accepting yourself, valuing yourself, taking time out for yourself, and so forth.
#2: Rely on past achievements
You must have had accomplishments you are proud of in your life: those can come from any area of your life such as your job, compliments you got as you helped someone, good marks when you were a student, the way you make your friends feel, anything proving to yourself what a great person you truly are.
#3: Take a mental break
Obsessing over Mr Perfect is not going to help because if you have put him on a pedestal, chances are that your focus will be only on how great he is, how great he looks, how lucky he is, how pretty his exes are and so forth. The more you focus on how fantastic he is, the more gap to bridge mentally speaking.
#4: Focus on you
In any new relationship, we ladies tend to focus solely on the man. What does he think about me? Does he think I’m pretty enough, smart enough, fun enough, sexy enough? Again, the more you focus on the man, the more you will likely find characteristics where you don’t fit. When that happens, you are taking the risk to depreciate yourself very quickly.
#5: See the positive in your relationship
Mentally record any compliment the man gave you, every appreciative look he gave you, if he winked at you, if he smiled at you, if he laughed at one of your jokes, if he asked questions (a sure sign he is interested) if he tried to kiss you or kissed you and so forth.
#6: List your qualities
Do you know yourself? We all think we do, but the truth is that we know ourselves up to the point of how we have already behaved in any given situation. If we have experienced many things we tend to believe that we understand how we function and how we think, how we respond to situations. But this is knowing our external self rather than our inner self. Knowing our inner self is more effective and shouldn’t be about guessing or listing past behaviours. We are a soul incarnated in a body having a complex personality that makes every single one of us extremely interesting.
#7: Learn to meditate
When your fears are overwhelming it is useful to spend some time meditating; as you do, you need to make a conscious effort to breathe in and breath out deeply through the stomach. It decompresses your brain and helps you gain clarity
#8: Observe your thoughts
I am a psychic and I am going to predict that…..most of your thoughts are geared towards the negative. OK, granted, I didn’t have to use any of my skills to come up with this! But in my experience, it is always revealing and we can then make a conscious effort to focus back on more positive thoughts.
#9: Remove the man from his pedestal
This is probably my number one tip. If you keep the man on the cloud of perfectness and remain on the ground trying to catch one of his smiles, the further away you are from the cloud, the more difficult it will be for you to get his interest.
#10: Imagine a great relationship
Have you ever heard of visualization? This is a great technique to use to focus your thoughts and be in the right state of mind. This is not an article about visualization and there is much to say, but I will give you a few tricks nonetheless: make sure you feel calm before the exercise; breath in and out slowly through your stomach; imagine a quick scene where you are the main character of the scene and you are looking with your own eyes, if that makes sense; the scene can be as quick as a few seconds; make it as logical, natural and real as possible.
What if this is a brand new SP? Here is a video that can help you:
If you would like further guidance, I offer manifesting readings where I decipher your greatness through your date of birth, give you predictions and guide you on how to manifest your desires based on advanced law of attraction techniques.
Alternatively, if you want to speed up your manifestations and practice the activities, you are welcome to have a look at the following course:
You may feel that you need guidance on your self-concept: Selfconcept Foundational beliefs – Manifesting coaching on Love, Career & Well-being (zennumerostar.com). Or on how to Craft magnetic affirmations – Manifesting coaching on Love, Career & Well-being (zennumerostar.com). Or on how to Eliminate resistance in manifesting – Manifesting coaching on Love, Career & Well-being (zennumerostar.com)
Sabine is a manifesting coach with a passion to help her clients improve their love life and career. She believes that everything and everyone is energy, and that you are the operant power of your reality.
She uses the Law of Assumptions as taught by Neville Goddard, to which she has added her knowledge of NLP, of energy healing and numerology to drastically improve your self-concept and ease your manifestation.
She is passionate about what she does and wants to help you design the life you wish to experience!